I hate this kind of no aim life.

now, everything become uncertain, I hate this kind of condition: uncertain. The reason is that I didn't follow the rule, what kind of rule? work everyday and work hard and efficiency, and what's more, advanced. 

My supervisor in bachelor, told me the key to success in your career is do the things advanced. But, I am lazy to do everthing, then I found many things need to process, I feel frustrated. Then, I feel boring of the life, when, I hear something coming, I feel afraid. This is a bad circle to make my study life worse.

I hate this kind of life, no plan, no efficency action, always pushed by the boss, always afraid to see the boss, always afraid to hear someone publish a good paper, afraid what can I do for the QE, what can I report in the group meeting. Then, I just stand up in front of the boss and feel the time go so slow when hearing the boss. I even not dare to send the email to boss.

why I become this? I like to work in the hard condition when I was young, such as I can still calculate mathmatics in the mosquito environment, I would like to cut another kep of grass for the chicken, I would like to do one more question in the candle light, I like to read the book in the outside in the winter. I would like the wind when I finish a very tough math problem.

But, now, what I become, a man to spend a lot of time in BBS which is meanless, spend a lot of time in game, spend a lot of time to check who is online which is also meaningless. If you want to talk to the friend, just find one, talk to him. if you want to see the news in BBS, look through, then, over, then to work in a high efficiency. That's enough.

I feel a little better to write these words. I can not find a people to inspire me, becasue I am a man. I should help others. I should become a stronger man.

Face the problem, then solve it!

Hurry up!